irl things

[fluorite]

[ because sometimes things happen and you can't help it

there's untagged nsfw please beware and DON'T LOOK AT ME ]

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[weaseled]

You really think I'd wave my dick in your face? Well, if you're giving me permission...

[...He'd rather wake Yuui up with a cock in his ass, frankly, but he'll consider it. Nothing says good morning like a good breakfast sausage.]

If that's what you want, fine. Still, I'm surprised.

[Wasn't last time kind of.......... traumatic?]

[fluorite]

[ Does the breakfast sausage have cheese on it?

It sure was traumatic! But Fai hasn't lingered on it too much, at least, which is why he gives Yael a quizzical look. ]

Hm? Why's that?

[ Explain. ]

[weaseled]

[Yuui can add the cheese himself :| ]

...You seriously have to ask? Man, you're worse with compartmentalizing things than I am. I hurt you, Yuui. I hurt you a lot.

[No need to ask him why he'd remain with the man who abused him. Yuui isn't right in the head, but Yael has no room to talk.]

[fluorite]

[ He stiffens in Yael's hold as he holds his gaze resolutely elsewhere. ]

I hurt you too. You can't leave my part out of this, Sheza.

[ Maybe it says a lot about Yuui that he feels this way, but he does. They hurt one another a lot, and while that might remain a stain on their relationship for a while, he thinks they can at least work through it. ]

[weaseled]

[Nah, he supposes he'd be just as bad if he ignored Yuui's role in this too. With a sigh, Yael squeezes him tighter, tucking his face into the crook of his neck.]

Then we both need to make amends. Being intimate with you won't bother me, but if it's going to bother you, we need to keep our hands to ourselves.

[fluorite]

I'll be fine, I think.

[ It wasn't even the sex or the way they both crossed one another's boundaries that left him trembling and on the verge of tears.

Breathing softly, Yuui's hand hovers over the back of Yael's head, his fingers not quite ready to tangle with those soft strands just yet. ]

But... I want you to let me in all the way. You told me you loved me, but you immediately pushed me away and didn't let me explain myself. I think that hurt more than anything else.

[weaseled]

[Yael doesn't move away, but he does stiffen a bit. With one steady inhale, then another, he releases the tension from his muscles. Exhales a small sigh.]

I wasn't ready to tell you. I knew it wasn't mutual, but I expected that. I just...

[...Wasn't at all prepared.]

When you say you want to be let 'in' all the way, what do you mean?

[fluorite]

[ His chest aches, regret filling him. If only he hasn’t asked that question… if only he hadn’t pushed Yael so far. His hand finally settles in Yael’s hair, and he idly twirls some of those light locks around his fingers. ]

I want to know everything you think and feel, including your deepest, darkest thoughts. I don’t want you to push me away.

[ After all, Yael has pushed him away several times, and while Yuui thinks it comes from a good place, that doesn’t mean he likes it. He’d much rather be brought in.

Even if it hurts, he wants to know everything. ]

[weaseled]

[Everything, huh? That's a hard sell, but of course his partner would want to know everything about him. Yael sighs (can't help it, really), and nuzzles further into the side of Yuui's neck.]

...I'll try. Just time your questions a little better, alright?

[He can't be expected to spill his emotional beans all at once.]

[fluorite]

I will. I've learned my lesson.

[ An ill-timed question can really bring so much pain, who would have thought? Turning his head just a bit, he presses a kiss to Yael's head. ]

I hope you realize that this goes both ways too.

[ As scary as sharing all of oneself is, he can't expect Yael to do it alone. That wouldn't be fair. There needs to be an equal exchange in a relationship, and Yuui know that this is among one of those things. ]

[weaseled]

[Yael leans into that kiss, feeling the first droplets of rain fall on his skin.]

You can start by telling me what exactly you think of me.

[And while Yuui considers his answer, Yael stands up and takes him along for the ride, beginning their descent down the hill.]

[fluorite]

[ Ah, the rain already. It feels like a relief as the humidity in the air begins to shift and give way to a light drizzle. What a shame that it will probably start pouring by the time they're only halfway down the hill...

Honestly, it doesn't matter much.

Shifting on Yael's back as he wraps his arms around his neck, he thinks of his answer. ]

You have a quiet kindness about you that I really like, and it feels special whenever I get to see it. [ Such as right now, as he's being carried down the hill even though he could easily make it back himself. ] You're responsible and a lot smarter than I think you'd ever give yourself credit for. I also think you're funny, even if you're pretty mean about it.

[ Yuui has a thick enough skin that he fires it right back, though, so naturally he'd count it as a positive. ]

You try not to be, but you're sensitive, and I can tell that a lot of sadness sits in your heart. [ ... ] I hope I can lessen some of it someday. I want to make the things that still weigh on your shoulders feel a little bit lighter.

[weaseled]

[...Yuui really does give him too much credit. All these fine qualities he's listing are things Yael really can't see in himself, but to his credit, he doesn't say so. The last thing he wants to do is disrespect Yuui's feelings by disagreeing with them.

The rain begins to pick up long before they reach the bottom of the hill. Fishing in his pocket for his keys, Yael pops open the hatch and deposits Yuui into the back of the SUV where he has blankets and a few other camping supplies tucked away. Joining him in the back, Yael keeps the hatch open to watch the ocean as the storm settles over it.]

Not a bad assessment, all things considered. But I really do think you need to put your foot down more.

[Yuui's seen him in a bad mood, but he hasn't seen Yael at his worst. That's what scares him.]

Mind if we stay here for a bit? It's nice and quiet, no one around. I enjoy the sound of the rain.

[fluorite]

I don't mind at all.

[ He's more than happy to indulge Yael here. With all the blankets and camping supplies in the back, it feels homey here.

His hoodie is soaked, however, so Yuui wastes no time in peeling it off, his shirt riding up as he tugs the hoodie over his head. ]

I thought I put my foot down enough, though. Or do you want me to order you around all day?

[ His comment is a little bit too lighthearted for what they're talking about, but he figures Yael will divulge exactly when he wants Yuui to pull him back. ]

[weaseled]

[Not too bad, right? Yuui can probably imagine Yael has spent more than a few nights sleeping out of the back of his SUV, but it's entirely by choice. Kicking off his boots, Yael leaves them on the asphalt and flops back, his head in Yuui's lap.]

I'll pass. Just love yourself as much as I love you and we're golden.

[But before Yuui can get a word in edgewise, Yael turns, clicking something. A string of white lights flickers on overhead, carefully strong along the roof of the vehicle.]

Not too bad, right? Every now and then I sneak off base and spend the night out here. Thought the lights were a nice addition.

[fluorite]

[ As much as Yael loves him, huh...? He wants to ask how much that is, but he hesitates, not wanting to make Yael feel worse that his feelings aren't returned in full quite yet. So, Yuui focuses instead on stroking Yael's hair, pausing when the lights suddenly come on. How did he not notice those before? ]

Wow. You really like creating a mood, don't you?

[ Even when he's alone.

With a soft smile, Yuui traces his finger along Yael's nose. ]

You're cute.

[weaseled]

[Yael's nose wrinkles, Yuui's touch ticklish, and his smile broadens.]

Yup. I don't light candles in here or play cheesy porno music when I'm trying to relax, though. I save the good stuff for you.

[fluorite]

[ His finger hops off of Yael's nose to press down on the corner of that smile. If only he could keep it forever. ]

Now I wonder what other good things you'd save for me. Do you ever plan on putting whipped cream all over your chest and dick?

[weaseled]

All over mine?

[Yeah, right. Yael reaches up and lightly flicks Yuui's nose.]

I've imagined putting whipped cream all over you. You'd make a nicer dessert than me.

[fluorite]

[ Scrunching up his nose, he bats at Yael's hand so he can have another bite of his salad and contemplate the logistics of who would be tastier. ]

Nothing wrong with a meaty dessert, though.

[weaseled]

I'll pass on steak for dessert.

[But if that's what Yuui's into, who is Yael to judge...]

Don't tell me you'd actually want to try that.

[fluorite]

Well, I wouldn't be opposed.

[ But it sure feels like Yael is judging here... Shoveling the last few bites of salad into his mouth, he eyes Yael until he swallows. ]

Have you ever played around with food like that?

[weaseled]

[Yael shakes his head.]

No, but that shouldn't surprise you.

[Not with how often Yuui accuses him of being a very vanilla man, which he is.]

[fluorite]

[ Since they're still in a restaurant, he leans forward and lowers his voice. ]

Did you mostly do missionary?

[ With the lights off? ]

[weaseled]

[Yael snorts, nodding.]

Yeah, but not for the reasons you think. That's what got my ex off.