irl things

[fluorite]

[ because sometimes things happen and you can't help it

there's untagged nsfw please beware and DON'T LOOK AT ME ]

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[fluorite]

[ He's about five seconds from poking his fingers into Yael's ass crack and wiping that smug look off his face. ]

Fine. Show me how to do squats, get me on protein powder, do whatever you like.

[weaseled]

[Ah. Would you look at the time? Yael leans forward, flicking on the faucet and dousing them both in a spray of hot water.]

Maybe it'll thicken up if I pound it enough?

[fluorite]

[ Yuui jolts when the hot water suddenly comes on, and he scrambles out of Yael's arms. ]

Maybe. I think it's worth a try, don't you?

[ Smiling, he looks around for some shampoo so he can start washing that greasy head of Yael's. ]

[weaseled]

[Begone, thot (affectionate)...]

Sure. We'll see in the morning.

[Yael Jr is completely unresponsive downstairs, so he'll take a raincheck on the sex, offering up his hair to Yuui for scrubbing.]

[fluorite]

Don't worry about tonight, Sheza.

[ Once he has Yael's hair wet enough, he starts to rub the shampoo in, taking his time to massage his scalp with the pads of his thumbs with the occasional light scrape of his nails. ]

Tonight is all about me pampering my boyfriend until he feels better.

[weaseled]

[Ah, this feels nice. Yael hasn't had his hair washed by anyone in years, not since he was a boy too young to remember his birth parents and the love they'd showered him in. He keeps his eyes squeezed shut to avoid getting soap in them.]

I'll be sure to return the flavor on the future.

[...Ptoo. Got soap in his mouth.]

[fluorite]

I know you will.

[ He makes a face when Yael spits and redirects some of the shower water into his mouth. Clean it out!!

Once he's sufficiently waterboarded Yael, he starts to rinse out his hair, running his fingers through those long strands. ]

You have such nice hair, you know. I hope you're proud of it.

[weaseled]

[Bleh!! Yuui babies him too much, but Yael doesn't have the nerve to complain, let alone the inclination. With his hair nice and squeaky clean, he threads a hand through it, twisting damp strands around the ends of his fingertips.]

I kind of am, actually. No male pattern baldness here.

[Yael frees up a hand to tug lightly on Yuui's hair.]

But you're the blond bombshell here. I bet you've had some bozo wax poetic about how your hair shines like spun gold.

[fluorite]

[ Yeah, he has—a few times, actually, but Yuui simply smiles as he gets to work scrubbing Yael down. ]

Is that an offer to do that for me right now?

[ If so, he'll take it just for the comedic value alone. He doubts Yael has ever cracked open a poetry collection in his life. ]

[weaseled]

Huh? Oh. Sure.

Hear ye, hear ye. [A good start.] The blond has arrived. Hair like spun gold, he has.

[yoda?????]

[fluorite]

Eww! What the hell was that?

[ He gives Yael's back a loud, wet smack. ]

[weaseled]

[Yael breaks into full-bodied laughter, slapping the water so it sloshes in Yuui's face.]

You got what you paid for, dummy.

[fluorite]

[ Wow??? He thought all his hard work this evening would get him anything better than whatever that was.

So, in an act of extreme maturity, Yuui leans forward and bites Yael on the arm. ]

[weaseled]

[HELLO???

Yael doesn't even bat him off his arm. He just stares at him.]

How old are you, four?

[fluorite]

Four and still more mature than you are.

[ He resumes scrubbing at Yael's skin as if the last few seconds hadn't transpired. ]

Should I buy you a poetry collection? I think you'd like E. E. Cummings.

[ Yuui knows Yael would despise him. ]

[weaseled]

Is that a joke?

[What the fuck kind of name is E. E. Cummings?]

Anyway, I'll pass. I'm not much of a [wiggles hands] poetry guy.

[fluorite]

Wow, what a shock.

[ He's so! Surprised!

But he's also done with scrubbing Yael down, so after a quick rinse, he gets out of the tub. ]

I really would buy you a poetry collection if I thought you'd like it.

[weaseled]

[What about his butthole? Yuui didn't scrub that. Yuui is a bad boyfriend.

Yael follows him out of the tub, first sitting on its edge to let his bag leg wake itself up.]

I'm not a fan. You could go with me to a shooting range if you want something to do.

[fluorite]

[ He reaches for Yael's knee on his bad leg, shooting him a questioning look. Would a quick massage help? ]

A shooting range... Is that actually fun?

[ It might be hot to watch Yael shoot a gun, though. The look of concentration on his face, his ability to fight against any knockback with his big, strong body... ]

Actually, I'll join you one day.

[weaseled]

[Yael's brow arches. Massage? Blowjob? What is he being offered here??]

Toys are fun, Yuui. Guns aren't toys. That's all the more reason to get you to a shooting range.

[He'll give you gun safety lessons all sexy-like, lil mama.]

[fluorite]

[ Yuui runs his knuckles up and along Yael's thigh. He'll take that brow arch as a yes. ]

Then what's the point in going...?

[ Why would he want to go somewhere that isn't fun? Does he like torturing himself? ]

[weaseled]

Man... You're hopeless.

[Said with a puff of laughter and a grin, he turns so Yuui can get at his leg if that's what he's truly after.]

Learning a new, useful skill. Honing and sharpening it. That isn't exciting to you?

[fluorite]

[ It sure is! He's on good behavior tonight, so no dick for him. Yuui is diligent in his light ministrations in massaging the thick muscle of Yael's thigh. ]

I'm sure it's shocking, but using a gun hasn't ever really been a skill I'd like to hone.

[weaseled]

[Oh yeah, totally shocking. Yael snickers and considers his gun collection, figuring a smaller caliber handgun would be best for a newbie like Yuui. Those limp wrists can't handle the recoil on anything like a desert eagle or even a revolver.]

You don't want one for self-defense? I can buy you a small one.

[Small enough to fit in his murse...]

[fluorite]

[ His murse... ]

I've always found that an elbow to the face or a kick in the balls works, but if you really want to buy me one, go ahead.

[ He kneads at Yael's upper thigh to work some feeling into his leg, concentrating on it before looking up to catch his gaze. ]

I bet you're already thinking about the exact model you want to get for me, aren't you?