fluorite | irl things

[ He shakily breathes out with that kiss, pressing closer as he buries his face in Yael's shoulder. The air around them grows a little more humid, the smell of impending rain almost overpowering, but he doesn't care. That's not important. ]

I thought every day about sending you a message, but I decided I would wait.

[ And even now, he's not sure if that was the right decision with the way it left him in almost a haze that lasted for days on end. ]

I know I hurt you too. I'm sorry.

[Yuui... He's not the one who should be issuing any apologies. Yael lightly baps the top of Yuui's head with a closed fist, scolding him, only to tug him closer and fit him with another kiss.]

You did what you had to do for your own well-being. I could never take offense to that.

Playing with that honesty was dangerous. I shouldn't have.

[ But he did and now here they are. Perhaps he should talk about their mismatched feelings, or that Yael wants to spend his life with him, but just as before... he needs time. His heart still aches, but he knows he'll be able to give Yael an answer eventually—an answer that Yael will be happy for, he hopes.

He gives Yael a squeeze. ]

What have you been up to?

[ Might as well catch up. ]

Moping on my mope hill.

[The usual, you know?]

You know what my life's like by now, so we're talking about you. How are your grades?

[Call it a hunch, but he has a suspicion Yuui has been slacking on his schoolwork. Can't imagine why!!]

...That's unfair.

[ Ugh, he feels like he's been caught doing something bad!! If he wasn't still moping and feeling sorry for himself, he'd pinch Yael right now. ]

I cancelled most of my tutoring sessions and haven't gone to class a few times. [ He pauses. ] I've been turning in my work, though.

...You idiot.

[With a sharp grunt, Yael hauls him into his lap and nips at his cheek.]

I had a feeling. You were really that scared I'd leave you, huh? I have a lot of work do to.

[ He smiles, the look in his eyes still watery, as he smacks Yael on the chest for that little nip. He missed this. ]

I thought I ruined everything. [ Yuui pauses, his gaze drifting back over the hill and towards the gray clouds approaching. ] I meant it when I said I wanted to stay with you.

[Ah, now this is what he missed. Bits of lighthearted teasing and affection, the feeling of embracing a body that feels tailor made to fit in his arms. Yael hugs Yuui close, speaking quietly into his ear.]

Then stay with me tonight. We don't have to do anything. I just want you in my arms.

[ Yes. The answer is so obviously yes, but Yuui doesn't say that, even as a small smile forms on his lips. The look in his eyes at least speaks that single word for him. ]

Will you get us breakfast?

[ Normally he'd ask for Yael to make it, but... no thanks. ]

[Breakfast... Fai doesn't ask for much, does he? Yael squeezes him close, pressing his lips to his temple.]

Yeah. I'll bring you whatever you want.

[They'll make it a day in.]

[ Oh, that kiss to the temple is nice. He missed the gentle affection that Yael likes to dole out more than he expected to. ]

Whatever I want? What if I ask for a bucket full of hashbrowns?

[ Yael knows he won't, but hey, there's still a possibility! ]

I'd love to stay over.

Really? You gonna eat the whole thing?

[If the answer is yes, then he'll absolutely bring this guy a KFC bucket full of hashbrowns. If Yael's lucky, maybe his lovely little twig here will feed him a bite.]

But I appreciate it. We'll stay hands off if you want.

[After all, it's very possible Yuui isn't in the mood for sex after, well, broadly gestures at their whole thing.]

Take the bed, alright? The couch is plenty comfy.

Maybe. You never know.

[ Relationship weight gain is already taking some affect on him, after all. His ass isn't quite as bony as it used to be.

But Yael deserves a smack on the chest for even suggesting they'll sleep separately. ]

Do you really think I'm letting you take the couch after all this time? I don't care if I wake up to your dick waving in my face. We're sleeping together.

[ Whether or not Yuui is actually in the mood for sex is variable, honestly. Their last time might have been a clusterfuck, but he's also eager to make new memories too. ]

You really think I'd wave my dick in your face? Well, if you're giving me permission...

[...He'd rather wake Yuui up with a cock in his ass, frankly, but he'll consider it. Nothing says good morning like a good breakfast sausage.]

If that's what you want, fine. Still, I'm surprised.

[Wasn't last time kind of.......... traumatic?]

[ Does the breakfast sausage have cheese on it?

It sure was traumatic! But Fai hasn't lingered on it too much, at least, which is why he gives Yael a quizzical look. ]

Hm? Why's that?

[ Explain. ]

[Yuui can add the cheese himself :| ]

...You seriously have to ask? Man, you're worse with compartmentalizing things than I am. I hurt you, Yuui. I hurt you a lot.

[No need to ask him why he'd remain with the man who abused him. Yuui isn't right in the head, but Yael has no room to talk.]

[ He stiffens in Yael's hold as he holds his gaze resolutely elsewhere. ]

I hurt you too. You can't leave my part out of this, Sheza.

[ Maybe it says a lot about Yuui that he feels this way, but he does. They hurt one another a lot, and while that might remain a stain on their relationship for a while, he thinks they can at least work through it. ]

[Nah, he supposes he'd be just as bad if he ignored Yuui's role in this too. With a sigh, Yael squeezes him tighter, tucking his face into the crook of his neck.]

Then we both need to make amends. Being intimate with you won't bother me, but if it's going to bother you, we need to keep our hands to ourselves.

I'll be fine, I think.

[ It wasn't even the sex or the way they both crossed one another's boundaries that left him trembling and on the verge of tears.

Breathing softly, Yuui's hand hovers over the back of Yael's head, his fingers not quite ready to tangle with those soft strands just yet. ]

But... I want you to let me in all the way. You told me you loved me, but you immediately pushed me away and didn't let me explain myself. I think that hurt more than anything else.

[Yael doesn't move away, but he does stiffen a bit. With one steady inhale, then another, he releases the tension from his muscles. Exhales a small sigh.]

I wasn't ready to tell you. I knew it wasn't mutual, but I expected that. I just...

[...Wasn't at all prepared.]

When you say you want to be let 'in' all the way, what do you mean?

[ His chest aches, regret filling him. If only he hasn’t asked that question… if only he hadn’t pushed Yael so far. His hand finally settles in Yael’s hair, and he idly twirls some of those light locks around his fingers. ]

I want to know everything you think and feel, including your deepest, darkest thoughts. I don’t want you to push me away.

[ After all, Yael has pushed him away several times, and while Yuui thinks it comes from a good place, that doesn’t mean he likes it. He’d much rather be brought in.

Even if it hurts, he wants to know everything. ]

[Everything, huh? That's a hard sell, but of course his partner would want to know everything about him. Yael sighs (can't help it, really), and nuzzles further into the side of Yuui's neck.]

...I'll try. Just time your questions a little better, alright?

[He can't be expected to spill his emotional beans all at once.]

I will. I've learned my lesson.

[ An ill-timed question can really bring so much pain, who would have thought? Turning his head just a bit, he presses a kiss to Yael's head. ]

I hope you realize that this goes both ways too.

[ As scary as sharing all of oneself is, he can't expect Yael to do it alone. That wouldn't be fair. There needs to be an equal exchange in a relationship, and Yuui know that this is among one of those things. ]

[Yael leans into that kiss, feeling the first droplets of rain fall on his skin.]

You can start by telling me what exactly you think of me.

[And while Yuui considers his answer, Yael stands up and takes him along for the ride, beginning their descent down the hill.]

[ Ah, the rain already. It feels like a relief as the humidity in the air begins to shift and give way to a light drizzle. What a shame that it will probably start pouring by the time they're only halfway down the hill...

Honestly, it doesn't matter much.

Shifting on Yael's back as he wraps his arms around his neck, he thinks of his answer. ]

You have a quiet kindness about you that I really like, and it feels special whenever I get to see it. [ Such as right now, as he's being carried down the hill even though he could easily make it back himself. ] You're responsible and a lot smarter than I think you'd ever give yourself credit for. I also think you're funny, even if you're pretty mean about it.

[ Yuui has a thick enough skin that he fires it right back, though, so naturally he'd count it as a positive. ]

You try not to be, but you're sensitive, and I can tell that a lot of sadness sits in your heart. [ ... ] I hope I can lessen some of it someday. I want to make the things that still weigh on your shoulders feel a little bit lighter.

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