fluorite | irl things

We wait for it to stop fizzing.

[ Which it’s started slowing down, so Yuui begins disrobing, unbuttoning his shirt as he glances back at Yael. ]

Memorizing it would be nice in case you ever wanted to surprise me. Just a thought.

[Yael sits beside the tub and watches the bath bomb slowly fizzle away to nothing. Like a cat staring at a bug on the other side of a glass pane, there are no thoughts behind those eyes.]

Yeah? I know you like to be pampered. What kind of chocolates do you like?

[Doesn't hurt to ask. He already knows flowers are up Yuui's alley.]

[ Wow, he looks so beautiful as a tumbleweed floats its way across his brain. ]

I like boxes that have a mix of milk and dark chocolate. White chocolate is alright only in small quantities. Fruit fillings are acceptable.

[ At least he knows exactly what he wants, right? ]

You've got this all worked out, don't you?

[Good. Yael likes a twink who knows what he wants.]

Duly noted. I'll grab you a box of the good stuff next time I'm in town.

The good stuff? So, you're not going to get me something cheap, right?

[ He's setting a high bar in his head, Yael. Good luck clearing it.

Yuui sits up, stretching out his arms before shuffling over to Yael and placing his hands on his shoulders. ]

Alright. Get in the bath.

How did I know you were high maintenance?

[You know, aside from the fact that it was obvious to begin with. Yael tends to gravitate towards these types much to the chagrin of his wallet.

With a smile of acquiescence, Yael sets his palms atop Yuuis, squeezing them, before stripping out of the rest of his clothing and settling into the bath.]

[ He smiles, sweet and honest, before taking his hands off of Yael's shoulders as he gets fully undressed himself. ]

Maybe my nice hair tipped you off.

[ When Yael has settled into the bath, Yuui places a hand on his back to make him scoot forward. ]

You'll be little spoon today.

[Fine, fine, him scootin'. Yael stays scrunched forward for Yuui's sake, but just know that he's tempted to lean back against him and squish him into the side the tub.]

Lucky me.

I'll consider that little comment genuine.

[ Yuui gets behind him, settling his spindly legs on either side of Yael's hips before wrapping his arms around his middle. ]

Let's soak for a little bit. That's the point of these fancy bath bombs anyway.

[ It's warm and it smells very, very nice. Yuui just hopes that the bath bomb works in softening both of their skin up.

Shifting forward, he presses a kiss to Yael's shoulderblade. ]

[It's been too many years. Yael relaxes under Yuui's touch, but he can't shake the feeling that he's indulging in something that he has no right to indulge him. Like he's savoring something stolen.

Regardless, his hand comes up to rub idly along the back of Yuui's hand.]

If you say so. [...A thought just occurred to him.] How long am I going to smell like lavender and chamomile?

[ Yael's fingers rubbing along the back of his hand makes Yuui's shoulders relax, the warmth of the bath only helping him to feel like putty. He's been tense ever since Yael started to ignore his messages that this feels nice.

For the first time in days, he feels some relief. ]

Hopefully for a while.

[ He kisses another spot on Yael's shoulder, gentle and sweet. ]

Why? Will you get bullied for it?

Who'd bully me? I'm alone most of the time.

[Besides, Yael is generally the one doing the bullying. He toys Yuui's fingers, lacing his own between them and squeezing them tightly. This is hardly penance, but it's a start.]

...Sorry, Yuui. I can't promise you something like this won't happen again in the future.

I know, Sheza.

[ He presses his face to Yael's shoulder, letting out a deep breath against his skin. ]

And I'll do the same thing again. [ Yuui pauses, humming in thought. ] Well, I'll come find you earlier than I did this time.

[ This is a learning experience for him. He'll know better. ]

[Yael falls silent for a time, thinking, which he's well aware is dangerous. Still, there may be no better time to make this suggestion, so why wait? He already knows what he wants, so he'll come out and say it as bluntly as usual.]

I've got a spare set of keys. Take them with you before you leave.

[ There's a very slight, very sharp intake of breath at that statement, and it's the only way for Yael to really know how Yuui feels. After all, Yael can't easily turn around and see his face. ]

...Alright. I'll take them.

[ This feels like a bigger step than he expected, like he's accepting something monumental.

There's a short pause as Yuui lets silence lapse between them again. ]

Would you like one of my spares?

[He can hear the surprise in Yuui's voice. It's a big step, but so is coming onto base to check on your internet boyfriend. Exchanging keys is the next logical step.]

May as well. We'll trade.

[Feeling Yuui's heart thud against his back, Yael squeezes his hands all the tighter.]

I don't want you losing sleep over me.

I'm afraid that ship has sailed already.

[ He nuzzles his face against Yael's back, breathing out a long sigh. There are a myriad of reasons for why he's lost sleep over Yael in the past month and a half, but he figures he doesn't need to go into details on that.

Especially not when he wants other details. With a long pause, Yuui finally speaks up again. ]

Would you tell me what's been going through your mind this week?

[ He isn't sure what to expect, honestly. Will Yael actually open up, or will he try and spare Yuui his nasty feelings? It's impossible for him to know, but he does know what would disappoint him most. ]

[The shoe has to drop eventually. That uncomfortable lump sets up camp in his throat again, Yael's eyes ebbing in and out of focus, settled on nothing in particular.]

Where do I begin? My head's a mess. If you want to know what "started" it, it was that friend of yours telling me I'd helped him come to the conclusion to end his own life.

[That someone would blame their suicide on him is a trigger Yael didn't know he had.]

[ Yuui squeezes him tight, pulling Yael flush up against his chest. Maybe Yael expects him to be more shocked about this information, to take more time to process it, but he's already done so. ]

...What he ultimately chooses to do is not up to you.

[ That directly contradicts what Fandaniel said, though, doesn't it? So Yuui is quick to add: ]

I spoke with him earlier about this subject. I think he overstated your role to mess with your head.

[...Ah, so he's already had this conversation with Fandaniel. Yael exhales a long, thin sigh.]

Shocker.

[Of course. When they'd first met, Fandaniel couldn't get deep enough under his skin to bother him. Foolishly, Yael assumed that would remain the case, but the joke's on him now. Fandaniel found his way in, guaranteeing Yael won't forget his bitch ass so easily. Sucks to suck, truly.]

It's not my problem who you choose to be friends with, but I want nothing to do with that guy. Got it?

[ Oh, he doesn't need to be told twice. This entire mess has made Yuui realize he can't just stick people together because he wants them to approve of one another. He regrets doing it now, but maybe it wouldn't have changed anything in the end anyway. ]

I've learned my lesson, Sheza. I'll make sure the two of you avoid one another as much as you like.

[ He gives Yael another squeeze, pressing yet another kiss to his shoulder. ]

You know, you've made my life better. Don't discount things like that.

[Little by little, Yael relaxes into Yuui's touch. Loses himself in it. Drops his guard. With Yuui, he knows he's safe. With Yuui, all the doubt and anxieties that plagued his mind over this last week are worlds away.]

It's not your problem to resolve, you know. I don't need help avoiding that guy.

[Yael has never had a problem giving people the cold shoulder. Fandaniel is no exception.]

Forgive me for finding that hard to believe, but I think I've only made life harder for you. What about your classes? Your lab work?

[Yuui must be missing out on important schoolwork being here.]

What you've seen me do is balance my life back to the way it should be.

[ His lips brush against Yael's skin, his breath warm against it as he speaks. ]

I spent all day in the lab or on campus, to the point where I would sleep in the library instead of going home. The only time I would leave either place was for tutoring or a hookup.

[ Yuui's heart beats faster, because he's laying out his terrible coping mechanisms plainly for Yael to see, even the ones that extend beyond just Fragment. It's scary, even scarier than taking the step to allow Yael to have his one of his spare keys. ]

About a month before the beta test started, something happened and my friends forced me to take a step back from my time at school or in the lab. I was struggling a lot with actually doing it, but with you here, it's easier. I have reason to cut myself slack.

[ Old habits die hard and he can't help but be vague, but the way he speaks at least leaves things open enough that Yael can ask for more detail. ]

[Yuui is being intentionally vague. Yael wants to leave him his space, to let him bring the issue up only when it's necessary. That's what Yael would do for most people, but Yuui isn't most people. Yuui is...

...No. Right now, he needs only to focus on the moment. Cradling Yuui's hands, Yael's tone softens just a hair. This is a decision better left in Yuui's hands.]

Do you want to talk about it?

[ It's such a miniscule shift, but Yuui notices it immediately. Then again, he's paid close attention to Yael's behavior ever since they met, picking up on whatever small things he can—a slight change in his tone, a twitch of his fingers, the smallest of smiles. Yuui always pays attention, always tries to find out more about Yael.

And it's scary, but maybe he can let Yael in just a little more in return. Yael has shared so much with him that it's only fair, isn't it?

Besides... Yuui wants him to know these things, and that in and of itself is terrifying. ]

I made an attempt on my life. As you can see, I wasn't successful, but I came close enough.

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cw suicide ment

cw suicide mention

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cw suicide