[The last place Yael expects to find Yuui after weeks apart is in his favorite hole-in-the-wall Mediterranean restaurant. It's such a shock that Yael walks through the door, sees Yuui in the corner, and walks back out.
But a minute later, he walks back in, finds his eyes aren't playing tricks on him, and wanders over to his booth. His footing feels uncertain, a tremor setting into his limbs, nerves singing. Normally, he'd slide into the booth across from Yuui and engage him, but— he's still raw, still anxious when he thinks back to that day. Yael manages to mask his shock, but only just.]
I didn't realize you liked the food here that much.
[ Coming here was a mistake, wasn't it? His heart practically leaps up into his throat when he spots Yael, and he does his best not to immediately shrink back against the far corner of the wall.
A mix of relief, but mostly disappointment, settles in his chest when Yael walks out... only for his heart to pick up its pace once again when he comes back. It's almost like Yael is playing games with him at this point.
Fidgeting with the sleeves of one of the hoodies Yael left at his apartment that he now feels incredibly stupid for wearing out, he nods. ]
[He recognizes that hoodie as his and bites his lip. Yuui looks so cute in it. Yael can't even recall the occasion that he lent it to him because he was so distracted by how cute he looked in it, the sleeves dangling off the ends of his hands, all that extra fabric hiding a lean, svelte body beneath it.
Seeing him now, shrunken back in the booth like an animal that doesn't know whether to fight or to flee, breaks something in Yael. He draws in a breath and struggles not to let it shudder on the way out. Yael slips his hands into his pockets so Yuui can't see them restlessly pick at loose threads.]
[ He chances a brief glance up at Yael before his eyes settle back down on the table. It takes him a moment to respond, his throat catching and making words difficult. ]
I would like that.
[ A lot, actually. More than he could ever convey, though he wonders if the fact that he's at this restaurant at all might speak to his feelings.
His eyes suddenly sting again, and he reflexively wipes at them with that too-long sleeve. The dam holding back his tears finally broke, and there's no going back. They come all too easily these days. ]
[Those tears never dried, huh? Yael considers taking Yuui up on the offer and settling in across from him, but the idea of trying to carry on through a meal while Yuui is in tears doesn't sit right with Yael.
He looks at Yuui, looks at whatever dishes or lack thereof occupy the table.]
[He doesn't blame Yuui for thinking that he's thinking about the food, but he couldn't give less of a damn about that. He shake his head and points his chin towards the door, offering Yuui a hand up and out of the booth.]
That's fine. If you can hold off on eating, let's go for a drive.
[ Yuui looks at his hand for a long, long moment before finally taking it. His fingers tremble, but he grips onto Yael's hand like his life depends on it, even as he stands.
Holding hands outside was something he rejected before, but now? He doesn't care. ]
[And he'll continue to hold onto Yuui's hands until he sees fit to take it away, regarding the owner and his daughters who serve as the waitstaff with a nod and a wave before they head out and towards his car.]
What time to do you need to head home? I'll try not to keep you out long.
[He has a sneaking suspicion Yuui's been blowing off his priorities, but if that's the case, it's no wonder why. It's Yael's own damn fault.
He keeps hold of Yuui's hand until they round the front of the vehicle and he pops the door open for Yuui, helping him up and into his seat. Sliding into the driver's seat, the SUV roars to life, their course set for a little green hill at the far end of the beach.
Once they're on the road, he offers his hand back to Yuui for safekeeping.]
[ Yuui takes his hand at lightning speed, threading their fingers together before giving it a squeeze. His hand is so warm and familiar in his, big and strong in contrast to Yuui's own long, thin fingers. Holding his hand again feels like being welcomed home after a long holiday away.
The compliment makes him smile as he looks out the window, watching the scrunched together buildings of the Bay Area pass them by. ]
It still smells like you, even though I've been wearing it most days.
[ He figures he owes Yael full honesty by now. What more could he lose by laying bare his feelings? ]
[He's hardly earned back the right, but as they come to a stop at a red light, Yael reaches over to thumb at that tears remain tangled in Yuui's long lashes.]
Mm? What do I smell like?
[Aside from, checks notes, sweat and testosterone maybe??]
[...Ah, no good. He wants to pull over and tug Yuui into his arms, but Yael urges himself to be patient, his eyes on that grassy hill in the distance. They'll be there soon enough.
[ He's not that weak, and he even gives Yael a little shove for that question. ]
But if you want to carry me, then by all means.
[ Yuui won't stop him, not when he's missed having Yael close to him. Maybe the familiar warmth of his body will calm the storm that still rages inside of him. ]
[He thinks Yuui is underestimating how far of a trek it is up to the top of the hill, but that's fine. Yael is all for letting people learn their lessons the hard way, starting up the hill and tipping forward so the steep incline doesn't knock him off his feet.]
Let's see how far you get on your own before I offer you my back. As for nature, I suppose so. I feel more relaxed out here than I do anywhere else.
[ Yuui mimics Yael, leaning over just a bit so he can make his way up alongside him. Ah, his calves already burn… this doesn’t bode well for him.
But that answer makes him think, and he hums. ]
Is that why you drove so far to see Hector?
[ Shockingly, he isn’t picking a fight—there’s no petulance or anger in his tone. He’s giving Yael a chance to elaborate if he wants to. And if not? Well, Yuui might hold it in his heart for a little while. ]
...............Well, he did tell Yuui that he was heading out that night and told him not to wait up (in minecraft), so it's not all too surprising that he's put two and two together. Still? Wow. Yuui doesn't sound peeved, but Yael's been wrong before.]
That was part of it. I'd also gone to check on him and make sure he wasn't drinking himself into a stupor.
[He was trying hard not to ruin their outing, but Yuui's bringing the drama to him. So much for that. Yael swallows back a sigh, eyes glued to their destination on the top of the hill.]
There is no "third reason." If you're going to accuse me of something, spit it out.
4.0
But a minute later, he walks back in, finds his eyes aren't playing tricks on him, and wanders over to his booth. His footing feels uncertain, a tremor setting into his limbs, nerves singing. Normally, he'd slide into the booth across from Yuui and engage him, but— he's still raw, still anxious when he thinks back to that day. Yael manages to mask his shock, but only just.]
I didn't realize you liked the food here that much.
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A mix of relief, but mostly disappointment, settles in his chest when Yael walks out... only for his heart to pick up its pace once again when he comes back. It's almost like Yael is playing games with him at this point.
Fidgeting with the sleeves of one of the hoodies Yael left at his apartment that he now feels incredibly stupid for wearing out, he nods. ]
...I do.
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Seeing him now, shrunken back in the booth like an animal that doesn't know whether to fight or to flee, breaks something in Yael. He draws in a breath and struggles not to let it shudder on the way out. Yael slips his hands into his pockets so Yuui can't see them restlessly pick at loose threads.]
Mind if I join you?
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I would like that.
[ A lot, actually. More than he could ever convey, though he wonders if the fact that he's at this restaurant at all might speak to his feelings.
His eyes suddenly sting again, and he reflexively wipes at them with that too-long sleeve. The dam holding back his tears finally broke, and there's no going back. They come all too easily these days. ]
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He looks at Yuui, looks at whatever dishes or lack thereof occupy the table.]
Have you ordered yet?
[If not, Yael has other plans.]
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Just water. They haven't come back for my order yet.
[ It's in the middle of the day during the week, so they're not at maximum staffing capacity. ]
I can go find someone...
[ That's probably what Yael wants, right? To hurry up and get food. ]
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That's fine. If you can hold off on eating, let's go for a drive.
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Holding hands outside was something he rejected before, but now? He doesn't care. ]
Sure, let's go.
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What time to do you need to head home? I'll try not to keep you out long.
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I don't have anything I need to do tomorrow.
[ After all, he's been cancelling a lot of his plans, only going to class and lab when he has to. ]
Keep me out as late as you need.
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He keeps hold of Yuui's hand until they round the front of the vehicle and he pops the door open for Yuui, helping him up and into his seat. Sliding into the driver's seat, the SUV roars to life, their course set for a little green hill at the far end of the beach.
Once they're on the road, he offers his hand back to Yuui for safekeeping.]
You look cute in my hoodie.
[He never got the chance to say so before.]
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The compliment makes him smile as he looks out the window, watching the scrunched together buildings of the Bay Area pass them by. ]
It still smells like you, even though I've been wearing it most days.
[ He figures he owes Yael full honesty by now. What more could he lose by laying bare his feelings? ]
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Mm? What do I smell like?
[Aside from, checks notes, sweat and testosterone maybe??]
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Your soap, for one. But it's hard to describe. It's just... you.
[ Which is unhelpful, but that's the truth of the matter. He gives Yael a small smile before his gaze travels back to the road in front of them. ]
...I know it's cheesy.
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Smiling, Yael squeezes Yuui's hand tightly.]
Turns out I like cheese.
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[ He squeezes Yael's hand back, holding it tight. ]
Where are you taking us?
[ They're not exactly in the middle of the city, so he knows by now that it's not some store or restaurant. ]
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Up there. I'd go there to brood a lot in the past.
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Hm.
He doesn't really care for once. ]
You're showing me your brooding spot? I'm honored.
[ Genuinely. ]
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It's nothing special. Sometimes being alone in nature helps clear your head, I've found.
[As they approach the base of the hill, Yael turns to Yuui with a playful, challenging smile.]
Want me to carry you to the top? It's a steep hill.
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[ He's not that weak, and he even gives Yael a little shove for that question. ]
But if you want to carry me, then by all means.
[ Yuui won't stop him, not when he's missed having Yael close to him. Maybe the familiar warmth of his body will calm the storm that still rages inside of him. ]
You really do like nature, don't you?
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[He thinks Yuui is underestimating how far of a trek it is up to the top of the hill, but that's fine. Yael is all for letting people learn their lessons the hard way, starting up the hill and tipping forward so the steep incline doesn't knock him off his feet.]
Let's see how far you get on your own before I offer you my back. As for nature, I suppose so. I feel more relaxed out here than I do anywhere else.
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But that answer makes him think, and he hums. ]
Is that why you drove so far to see Hector?
[ Shockingly, he isn’t picking a fight—there’s no petulance or anger in his tone. He’s giving Yael a chance to elaborate if he wants to. And if not? Well, Yuui might hold it in his heart for a little while. ]
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...............Well, he did tell Yuui that he was heading out that night and told him not to wait up (in minecraft), so it's not all too surprising that he's put two and two together. Still? Wow. Yuui doesn't sound peeved, but Yael's been wrong before.]
That was part of it. I'd also gone to check on him and make sure he wasn't drinking himself into a stupor.
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What was the third reason?
[ He’s giving Yael one last chance to say it in full before he says it instead. ]
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There is no "third reason." If you're going to accuse me of something, spit it out.
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amb admitted to being the one who gaslit us
WAUUUUUGH
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